“Rarely, if ever, are any of us healed in isolation. Healing is an act of communion.”
—bell hooks
why can’t i get over it?
Do you relate to any of the following?
Relationship issues
Flashbacks to the past
Difficulty trusting others and yourself
Chronic shame and low self-esteem
Emotional dysregulation
Anxiety and worry
Depression and/or suicidal thoughts
Beliefs that you are not good enough or unlovable
Feeling numb, zoning out, or memory gaps
Certain places or people remind me of the past causing anxiety or fear—family members, church buildings, a school, or other reminders of trauma
I work with trauma survivors of—
Childhood sexual abuse and physical abuse
Childhood emotional abuse and neglect
Religious trauma + spiritual abuse
Sexual assault + intimate partner violence
Death of a loved one
LGBTQIA+ marginalization
You feel unlovable, unworthy, or not enough. It seems like there must be something wrong with you, because “it wasn’t all bad” or “could have been worse” right? When it comes to trauma, “getting over it” is not that simple. Here’s why…
Under normal circumstances, your brain organizes memories in a neat and tidy fashion. A memory is stored and life goes on.
Under dire circumstances, the brain goes into fight, flight, or freeze which floods your body with chemicals like adrenaline, norepinephrine, and cortisol (or acetylcholine for freeze). This prepares your body to fight, run away, or just survive.
Under the traumatic circumstances as a child such as sexual abuse, physical neglect or abuse, emotional abuse or neglect, or family chaos, the body shuts down non-essential bodily and brain functions to put all resources toward mobilizing or freezing to make it through. Strategic, huh? A trauma memory is stored differently as a result (or blank altogether in the case of dissociation).
During trauma, the sights, sounds, smells, and sensations associated with the memory become locked into a snapshot in order to survive similar situations of danger in the future.
A variety of traumas elicit a similar response in the body—an abusive childhood environment, a high-control church or religion you grew up in, an assault, or a death—and the aftermath is often feeling unsafe or unworthy.
For example, even after the trauma is over, your brain may recall that a certain facial expression or sound has often preceded abuse in the past. Amidst a similar trigger (even if everything is safe now), your brain’s alarms will go off.
You can’t “get over it” because your body is wise. It’s not your fault that you cannot get past your past that easily.
Trauma-informed therapy can help.
childhood trauma therapy
Childhood trauma looks like:
Verbal insults, put-downs, name-calling, or yelling
Being hit, pushed, shoved, or physically harmed by a parent or adult
Lack of emotional connection or not feeling loved as a child
Sexual abuse
Family member had a mental illness, substance use addiction, or was incarcerated
Community violence or lack of environmental safety
signs of childhood trauma:
Few or no memories of childhood
Low self-esteem
Recurrent, painful memories of childhood experiences
Relationship instability as an adult
Sudden changes in mood
Depression and anxiety
Difficulty regulating emotions
Dissociation (amnesia, memory gaps, zoning out)
Perhaps you feel “behind” in your life and development of career, finances, social skills, ability to handle emotions, or life functioning. Maybe you keep telling yourself “it couldn’t have been that bad” or “my parents loved me,” but maybe your childhood impacted you more than you realize. At times, emotions may feel all-consuming or cause you to become “frozen” or “numb” and it seems like something is fundamentally wrong with you.
Therapy is not just about “getting over” the past but processing and integrating your experiences to have more choices in the future. A trauma response is not a choice or a moral failing. Trauma is the wisdom of your body letting you know what needs to be healed.
religious trauma therapy
Do you relate to any of the following?
Religious experiences still bother you
Chronic shame
Perfectionism
Anxiety and depression
Reminders of religious/spiritual group cause emotional distress, panic, or fear
Uncontrollable thoughts and obsessions about being a bad person
Beliefs about yourself: I am a bad person, I am unlovable, I don’t belong
Self-blame and guilt
Beliefs that you are not good enough or unlovable
Trauma is your body remembering the past. Religious trauma is your body remembering the programming you were engrained with in order to belong in a family, church, organization, or group. No matter where you are in the spectrum of beliefs now you may be dealing with fear of punishment, chronic shame and guilt, or loss of identity. Perhaps it feels like your emotions are bad, your sexual or gender identity are sinful, or that you cannot question what you were taught for fear of loss of belonging. Maybe you even reached out for help, but were met with shame or religious “counseling” that may have added to the confusion and pain.
The Religious Trauma Institute (RTI) defines religious trauma as “The physical, emotional, or psychological response to religious beliefs, practices, or structures that overwhelm an individual’s ability to cope and return to a sense of safety.” RTI coins spiritual abuse as any “conscious or unconscious use of power to direct, control, or manipulate another’s body, thoughts, emotions, actions, or capacity for choice, freedom, or autonomy of self, within a spiritual or religious context.”
Religious trauma is trauma. You deserve a counselor who understands the impact of spiritual abuse during the ages of childhood development and throughout life. Trauma therapy is a place to rewire trauma responses with the freedom to explore your identity and beliefs without judgment.
FAQs
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Finding a therapist can be daunting and time-consuming. It is SCARY to envision the person you will “spill it all” to with the hope that they will understand your journey. Most therapists offer a free consultation to ask questions and see if you would be a good fit to work together. Book a free consultation today to see if we are a good fit!
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You are likely at the point here you desperately want relief and change. This is a common sentiment for those newly beginning or continuing their healing journey. You may feel hopeless given the many things you have tried to get better. This is valid, especially if other approaches have not worked for you in past counseling or self-help efforts. Though mental health professionals cannot ethically “guarantee” results, the biggest predictor of therapy “working” is the solid relationship you have with the therapist. It can be helpful to explore in initial sessions what fears you are bringing into the work. No particular approach is going to be the ideal solution for everyone. It is okay to explore a wide range of approaches and healing techniques.
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No, my services are private pay at this time. However, I can provide a monthly superbill you can submit to your insurance for possible out-of-network benefits.
In 2021, the U.S. Departments of Health and Human Services, Labor, and the Treasury issued the No Surprises Act which requires medical care professionals to disclose their fees to patients through a Good Faith Estimate (GFE). You will sign a GFE in your intake paperwork which outlines the cost of therapy breakdown for weekly/biweekly session frequency. It is NOT a bill. For more information visit: https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises/policies-and-resources/overview-of-rules-fact-sheets.
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Everyone heals at their own pace. Therapy can often be a non-liner process (particularly with complex trauma). Once you meet with your therapist, discuss goals for treatment, and develop your treatment plan, you may have a better sense on a timeline with treatment.
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Typically, sessions are scheduled weekly for 50 minutes. However, session frequency depends on finances, availability, and your specific treatment needs. Biweekly and monthly frequencies are also an option depending on your initial treatment planning with the therapist. For ketamine-assisted therapy, your dosing sessions with be spaced out at least two weeks and 6-8 sessions is recommended at minimum to see the full benefit.
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When you meet for the first session, you will receive a text message on your phone from the payment application, IvyPay. At that time, you will upload a payment card and will receive a receipt via text message. A card is kept on file and payments occur automatically after each appointment.
